The shared vocabulary
The method, in plain words.
Four Lanes, twenty-two Gates, six repair moves.
The Four Lanes
Carril de la Verdad
Carril del Poder
Carril de las Personas
Carril de los Estándares
The 22 Structural Gates
Gate 1 · Bad News Gate
whether difficult information can be spoken early, while the two of you still have useful choices
Gate 2 · Weak Signal Gate
whether small, repeated changes are noticed before either person can fully prove what they mean
Gate 3 · Candor Gate
whether each of you can say what is true plainly without placing the relationship itself at risk
Gate 4 · Transparency Gate
whether each person has the information needed to carry shared responsibility without being surprised by avoidable context
Gate 5 · Truth-in-Tension Gate
whether two legitimate truths can remain visible long enough for the two of you to make a wiser choice
Gate 6 · No-Spin Gate
whether the words used between you stay close enough to observable reality to guide action
Gate 7 · Decision Rights Gate
whether the two of you know which choices are individual, which require consultation, and which require shared consent
Gate 8 · Escalation Gate
whether a stuck or high-risk issue has a known path into a stronger conversation or appropriate outside support
Gate 9 · Capacity Gate
whether the responsibilities each person carries are matched with enough time, energy, authority, support, and recovery
Gate 10 · Influence Gate
whether the people, loyalties, money, traditions, and histories shaping your choices are visible and responsibly bounded
Gate 11 · Authority Legitimacy Gate
whether any agreed responsibility or leadership between you is understandable, bounded, trustworthy, and answerable to your shared commitments
Gate 12 · Accountability Gate
whether responsibility is matched with real control, clear expectations, sufficient support, review, consequence, learning, and repair
Gate 13 · Conflict Resolution Gate
whether disagreement has a direct, safe, and usable path toward understanding, decision, or repair
Gate 14 · Feedback Gate
whether useful correction can move in both directions early enough to help
Gate 15 · Trust Repair Gate
whether a breach can be named, its impact acknowledged, responsibility owned, change made, and credibility rebuilt over time
Gate 16 · Alignment Gate
whether an important conversation ends with shared meaning about the decision, the next action, and what remains unresolved
Gate 17 · Safety Gate
whether concerns, uncertainty, and disagreement can be raised without retaliation, humiliation, intimidation, or erasure
Gate 18 · Dignity Gate
whether correction and consequence preserve each person’s humanity
Gate 19 · Clarity Gate
whether shared expectations are specific enough for both people to know what completion and care require
Gate 20 · Enforcement Gate
whether agreements and boundaries are upheld consistently across mood, urgency, relationship, and convenience
Gate 21 · Drift Detection Gate
whether small movement away from a valued agreement is noticed before it becomes the new normal
Gate 22 · Reinforcement Gate
whether a desired behavior is supported by reminders, ownership, review, and repetition after the urgency of the moment passes
The Six Repair Moves
- Name the Gate” data-es=”Nombren la Puerta“>Name the Gate
- Install one reinforcement” data-es=”Instalen un refuerzo“>Install one reinforcement
- Make it hold” data-es=”Hagan que se sostenga“>Make it hold
△ The chart is the hypothesis; lived experience is the evidence.